2022.08.24 Wednesday12. To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Quotes that make no sense Photo: pexels.com (modified by author) Source: UGC. I said no to drugs, but they just wouldnt listen. Im not arguing, Im just telling you why youre wrong. 50. What doesnt kill you makes your drinks stronger., 10. 102. For beginners who still struggle with letting their voice out, I recommend starting with funny affirmations that will relax you and make you laugh. Why was six scared of seven? 280 Short Funny Quotes and Sayings - Luvze 67. A backbone. 227. Stop trying to make everyone happy. Never test how deep the water is with both feet. 101. 1. Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. Wouldnt exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them? 20 Funny Positive Affirmations for Self-Esteem It will have a positive effect on your mind and body, and form an association between affirmations and a happy feeling. 192. I intend to live forever. Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it. It's OK to take a break. If I want a squirrel to like me, I guess I gotta act like a nut., 6. I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. 278. Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. The rest are too expensive. 150. Similar to how it's important to minimize distractions in the workplace, you need a few minutes of peace to focus and mindfully say your affirmations. Smiles are contagious, be a carrier. "In life only one thing is certain, Friday will come.". 228. 56. I honor that time. 196. 223. Really? So life is not always "All The Way Up", I guess. My friends are like rocks, they help me through hard times. 22. Since not all of us are blessed with the ability to throw a joke the right way, we thought of helping you out by giving you these ridiculously short funny quotes. 176. Give me a photo of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas. 228. 230. Im like a postage stamp. 274. You might undoubtedly relate with them, and yet you will not feel laid back because of your weaknesses. Love your enemies. 120 Funny/sarcastic affirmations ideas - Pinterest Maybe Monday doesn't like you either. Walking into a room and then forgetting why I am here is my daily cardio. .People who enjoy making other people laugh are also known to be more detail oriented. I am attractive just as I am. You might use humor as a coping mechanism. Affirmations are an opportunity to be honest with ourselves and recognize that we have a treasure trove of power and creativity within us. "If you see me talking to myself. As a result, youll stay consistent, and with affirmations, consistency is the name of the game. 200. I am my childs greatest comfort. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. I accept my body the way it is today. Im not insulting you. "Age is of no importance unless you're a cheese.". Why couldnt the leopard play hide and seek? Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake. Heres a list of important things to consider: Choosing the perfect affirmation from our list isnt much different. How can you not like someone who can make you laugh? We frequently doubt ourselves. Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. Dont worry, the spider is smaller than you. Looking for positive funny affirmations? I have Alzheimers bulimia, first I eat everything in sight and then I forget to puke. A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand. 225. Everyone brings happiness to this office. I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it. And a funny bone., 10. 92. 137. I'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast. I want to afford them., 2. Decomposing. I feed my spirit. Why did the school kids eat their homework? Whether youre saying the affirmations aloud or writing them down, laughing along will only strengthen their effect. 1. - Billie Burke. "I receive what I believe.". 192. 70+ Daily Affirmations That'll Rock Your World - Fun Cheap or Free You need some sort of way to offset the inevitable stressors of life, and what better way to do that than with humor? 245. However, just saying these statements out loud wont cut it. I dont know, but the flag is a big plus. Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? Short people with an umbrella. 10 Funny Affirmations That Will Put A Smile On Your Face - QuoteReel If youre looking for a way to brighten your day and amp up your attitude, youve come to the right place. I have Alzheimers bulimia, first I eat everything in sight and then I forget to puke. 9. I eat cake because its someones birthday somewhere today. Send me the link. Whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? Hello little voice inside my head, please just shut up. 4. Without further ado, lets look at 20 funny affirmations to build your self-esteem. 51. Use them as a tool to boost your self-esteem and productivity, as well as to overcome procrastination and complete all assigned tasks. 163. Your email address will not be published. Every day is a gift, thats why they call it the present. 129. 9. Life always offers you a second chance. Not me, but somebody does. 249. Bill Murray Im not weird, Im just limited edition. Just like every Monday does on Earth. Sometimes the M is silent. Im like a postage stamp. 197. 277. I see food, and I eat it. Words have the power to make or break us. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. My six pack is protected by a layer of fat. 86. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. You can make friends and have good relationships if you believe in your sense of humor and fill your mind with funny and positive thoughts. 193. How do astronomers organize a party? A gummy bear. 237. Marriage is like a walk in the park, Jurassic Park. Sincerely, the floor. On Mercury, a day lasts 1,408 hours. 231. I love my computer because all my friends live inside it. 57. Bill Murray And get over it. 132. 225. Jackie Collins So with that being said, heres a list of funny affirmations to motivate you to come out of your comedic shell. 134. It has many of the same goals as affirmations, as theyre both associated with positivity and happiness. Affirmations can either be written down, spoken out loud, or visualized in the form of a conversation between money and you. 172. Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when Im with you. "Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.". 234. Bill Murray. It is, therefore, safe to say that, sense of humor. A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours. 25. 167. Flip Wilson 216. For the best seat in the house, youll have to move the dog. 22. 49. Positive affirmations aren't about tricking kids into mentally looking at life with eyes that only see what they want to see. Steve Martin 53. 239. Only two more days until Friday.". I am full of vitality. You might enjoy: Affirmations: 13 Answers You Should Know. You can be positive and yet be funny and easy-going. I thought you said extra fries. 251. 205 Hilariously Funny Quotes For Work To Make You Chuckle 45 Self-Compassion Affirmations to Practice when Feeling Low. 223. grateful. 180. Ben Hogan. ". When nothing is going right, go left. It is already tomorrow in Australia.". Being funny increase people's tendency to connect with you and talk to you. 175. Funny affirmations youll find here will boost your confidence and make you laugh. Run. No one is immune to self-sabotage, heartbreak, loss, and failure. Hence, avoid using past or future tenses. happy. I am sorry not everyone will have the pleasure of knowing me., 14. Hmmm, this text message is a little too harsh, Ill add LOL at the end. I dont think thats a coincidence., 3. 4. 8. If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. Even on my worst days, turning on some stand up immediately puts me in a better mood. 30. Then perhaps youd find value in these articles on. Your habits become your values. I radiate calmness and tranquility, with a little side of body odor., 4. Keep your affirmations in the present. How do you count cows? I am grateful for the healing power of humor. 242. 219. Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. My cankles will hold me. My mood swings keep life interesting. 9. If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. 35. Say "Thank you" - A Motivational Video On The Importance Of GratitudeIntro Speech by Denzel Washington (Commencement Speech)Main speech by Fearless Soul "Tha. Chop your own wood. Albert King (John 14:27) 27. I see food, and I eat it. 195. 159. Alexa, please clean the negativity off of my mind please. What do I do for a living? I like expensive things because I learn the act of taking care from them. Bill Murray, 258. I walk in the direction of what feels good for my soul. 39. 105. I dont need you to remind me of my age at work, I have a bladder that will do that for me., 8. If you feel like todays not your day and the best thing would be to stay in bed, Ive got something that will cheer you up. Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool. 279. Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. You may have people laugh at you instead of with you. How do astronomers organize a party? 8. 267. Does it count if you say them in your mind? Before using these amusing affirmations, you should believe in your sense of humor. I don't entertain negativity in any shape or form. It just plain forms. Its scary when it disappears. Dont let anything or anyone stop you from achieving what you truly aspire. The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Im multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. My body belongs to me and I can set boundaries around it. I wish my wallet came with free refills. Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now thats confusing. Im laughing at the confusion and smiling through the tears. Because they make up everything. To put your affirmations into practice, follow these steps. Your brain will only ever optimally respond to positive present tense affirmations such as " I am calm .". 45. Affirmations can be written in a journal, spoken out loud, or visualized as a conversation between you and money. I am passing all the things and hardships with a smile. When affirmations make you feel good about yourself, they are most effective. A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand. I am joyful for achieving the ones I did. Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. 39 funny positive affirmations. Why is England the wettest country? I dont have everything I want, but I have all I need. An apple a day keeps anyone a way, if you throw it hard enough. Read the first word again. Enjoy! I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. Dont forget that you get 24 hours, even on your worst day. If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanket back to your side. Whether its at other people or at ourselves, its good to laugh in life. How do you count cows? I dont need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry. Sincerely, yourself., 2. It has features that are distinctive and make me who I am. Some when they enter, some when they leave. 159. Ive made it from the bed to the couch. 213. If you just want to keep reading, then heres some affirmations about the funny side of friendship. 160. Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place, the fridge. It will warm you twice unknown. 14. I release all shame about my body. Some when they enter, others when they leave. 209. If at first, you dont succeed, so much for skydiving. 67. Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, theyll start using it. Im old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. Ted Turner. 155. Be careful when you follow the masses. 200+ Funny Life Quotes Dripping With Sarcasm And Wit - Scary Mommy 166. 64. Snowballs. 11. Youre just gonna feel embarrassed for a minute or two and then it will be over. Whats the best thing about Switzerland? - Jeffrey Gitomer. Live life to the fullest. 217. I have no time to worry; I have to be awesome. 144. Enjoying this list of funny affirmations so far? Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter; people the opposite. Short Positive Affirmations - 110 Powerful Affirmations - Mindbless What better way to do that than through your own self-talk?
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