you couldn't kick jokes

Good luck figuring out which one., 28. Im coming to live with you.Submitted by Joan Vercueil, A couple of cockroaches are munching on the contents of a garbage can in a deserted alley. Maybe youll find a brain back there., 45. Obviously, use them only when the conversation gets out of control and the other person stoops to insults. You know, this is my first operation. You wont believe these crazy (but true) drive thru worker stories. Eight dollars, I answered. I said 40. Tap To Copy. and Photobombed. Submitted by Faith Lackey, A: Breathe! $10 fine. That didnt suit my husband. Its a talking clock, the drunk replied. He said, I want you to trace someone for me. He approaches the dead man's wife, and asks if he could say a word. Hes not breathing and his eyes are glazed. A labracadabrador. Pressed for time? Submitted by Janet Winkler, A businessman flying first class is sitting next to a parrot. Crocker, you are just fine, insisted the nurse. She was so ugly she could trick or treat over the telephone. Submitted by Adam J. Smargon, A: When its pasture bedtime. Well done, you managed to deliver the perfect insult or smartass line. Awesome! he shouts. I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Submitted by Wendy Davis, My mother asked me to hand out invitations to my brothers surprise party. Instantly, the car appears on the beach. Im not allowed on the couch., Two salespeople approached me at the furniture store. Thats him, comes the reply. Tempting fate, I tried it on. In fact, people love sarcasm, which makes it a great outlet to get all of that pent-up resentment out while slapping a smile on your face. Sometimes it has vinaigrette or mayonnaise. After a few moments, Bill says, "Hurry up . Check out thesefunny political quotes you cant help but laugh at. Today isnt your day. During one visit, we were both busy with this task when the phone rang. Its called balance., 3. The light goes off.. Reddit.com. Start in England and drive west. The cop replies: Then why do I smell wine?, The priest looks at the bottle and says: Good Lord! She has published three web humor books and six calendars, including You Had One Job! Whenever we'd start talking and she didn't want to hear it she would sing, "Oh the monkey wrapped his tail around the flag pole, to wipe his butt hole, and see the world! The air is so fresh it smells like flowers. Stop! cries the second cockroach. He was a tackling dummy. Submitted by Denise Stewart. He shouts to her, Hey, why are you crossing the road? The chicken replies, To change the light bulb in the henhouse. Can you change it by yourself, or will you need help? Not only is it terrible, its terrible. Rub one ball and everything moves.". Again, the bird gives the crew grief for being slow and the businessman joins in, Yeah, the service stinks! Just then, the flight attendant grabs the pair, opens the hatch and throws them out of the plane. You have to touch them all over before they respond. You know, says the crook, this is more than I wanted to spend. Its from Uncle Ben. A husband texts his wife on a frosty winter morning: Windows frozen! His wife texts back, Pour lukewarm water over it. Five minutes later he replies: Computer completely messed up now.Submitted by Catherine Hiscox. So now I got me a hook., I was standin on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye., But ya dont go blind from no seagull poop., True, says Sol. [Read: How to be witty 25 ways to win everyone over with your charm]. ), I was driving when I first saw the flash of a traffic camera. Oh, hey, kettle, Im pot and wow, youre black. Olivia Cunning, Tie Me, 26. The day before both NBC and Fox confirmed she would not be making a return to the networks, Tamron Hall and Soledad O'Brien couldn't help but make a jibe at Megyn Kelly in New York. And what was that? Its just as I thoughtyou dont know.Submitted by Gene Newman. He immediately smells alcohol on the priests breath and notices an empty wine bottle in the car. 50 of the funniest Father Ted quotes It says, Do not feed. It will be a low key funeral. As a result, while in uniform, Im often mistaken for a flight attendant, a ticket agent, or even a snack bar employee. Good heavens, the first doctor said to the second, look at that poor crippled fellow., Yeah, answered the second doctor. An impasta. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. During their visit, they noticed a flatbed of manure nearby. It's stopped twerking. 25 of the most outrageous Summer Heights High quotes Submitted by C.A. What are you? asks the cat. He fought with me again! Keep these funny holiday jokes in mind for your next party! 100 of the best clean jokes and one-liners Thesecheesy pick-up lines are are sure to get you a laugh (if not love). What do you call a fake noodle? Treating those tender spotsyour own and your partnerswith reverence and care deepens trust and creates healing. And for a shave? Five dollars. All right, he said, settling into the barber chair. atlantic beach zoning map; torvill and dean routines list; sync only some activity types from garmin to strava Dont miss these physics jokes that every science nerd will love. The bartender shakes his head. Get to know these funny jokes for National Tell a Joke Day! The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. Im 49.95. When my nine-year-old son, Simon, saw the T-shirt, he asked, Yes, but how much with tax? Submitted by Gilles St-Laurent. You wont look cool if you show everyone just how happy you are with your efforts! Whats E.T. Where are average things manufactured? Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you. Bill Murray, 14. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. Steven Wright, 33. Whats a Queen without her King? Since shes in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. Submitted byLucinda Rajaselvan, The police are called to an apartment and find a woman standing over a lifeless man, holding a bent and twisted five-iron. To get to the other side. I just sold a screenplay for $200,000. These smartass quotes about breakups are sure to help you out. '", "My grandfather had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Central Park Zoo. Concerned, their parents took them to a psychiatrist. Dont miss these funny tweets every parent can relate to. I dont know what he laced them with, but Ive been tripping all day. He picked up a hammer, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound and stepped back. 25 of Rik Mayalls greatest quotes The bear shrugged. Your mileage may vary. The man heads downstairs to the bar, settles into a huge barstool and orders a beer. The woman responded, Shes a dentist. GCFL.net, A woman walked up to an elderly man rocking in a chair on his porch. Whats the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? ._1sDtEhccxFpHDn2RUhxmSq{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-flow:row nowrap;flex-flow:row nowrap}._1d4NeAxWOiy0JPz7aXRI64{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText)}.icon._3tMM22A0evCEmrIk-8z4zO{margin:-2px 8px 0 0} Nurse: Do you think you could be pregnant? A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. you couldn't kick jokesmichelle fleury ancestry. I choose round. Sarah Millican, My wife its difficult to say what she does. Two doctors happened along and noticed him. That evening, he decides to go out. As a scarecrow, people say Im outstanding in my field. The doctor says, Larry, everything looks great. Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology. 79. A: One, but he waits until the last minute to cram it in. Ten what? A man is on trial for armed robbery. One said: Oo, oo, aah. The other replied:Put some cold in then. Harry Hill, My friend says to me: What rhymes with orange? I said: No it doesnt!, You know the animal that kills the most people in the world? I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. Could fuck up a two car funeral. Good news, he said. Tatiana Ayazo /Rd.com, shutterstock. One neighbour endlessly bangs his head against the wall, while another screams all night. How do you put up with it? I just ignore them and play my bagpipes.Submitted by Marilyn Adkins, Sarah, the self-appointed arbiter of the towns morals, stuck her nose into everyones business. Pack your stuff, they're waiting. He promptly sticks his head out the window and says: Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.. But instead of yelping with delight, the little boy burst into tears. Literally nothing is rhombus shaped. Let her spell small animals, not big ones, said her mom. Submitted by Rita Hickey, A little boy was sitting beside me in the hospital waiting room. It never really took off. Milton Jones, Recently I went on a ballooning holiday I put on four stone! Milton Jones. 2. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies. I've seen monkey shit-fights at the zoo more organized than this. Just received a card full of rice. Oh look, just put me down for five.Submitted by Kerrie Pont, The prosecutor was relentless as he badgered the witness: What did the accused do when he learned the jewellery was stolen? He did what any honest man would do, said the witness. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old laws of the church by hand. Whats that big brass gong for? asked the friend. you couldn't kick jokes where is madeira citrine mined. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. But it was me first day with the hook.. 2023 Readers Digest Magazines Ltd. - All rights reserved, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Compiled by Andy Simmons, RD.com and Robert Liwanag, readersdigest.ca. Dont worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal., 22. She couldnt control her pupils. We can hold ourselves accountable with self-compassion, and our partners can let us know about their hurt while remembering that we are imperfect and lovable. Is someone being a total dick and youre at a loss for what to say? These funny work cartoonswere made for sharing at the office. Could you give a poor man something to eat? asks the hobo. is saying I should be on Jeopardy! every time I answer a $200 clue that happens to be about one of my three interests. Laura Peek, comedian. All it was doing was gathering dust. @dadsaysjokes. BEWARE OF DOG! A young monk arrives at the monastery. When your ex says, Youll never find anyone like me reply with: thats the point., 21. You can only stalk them and hope for the best." [Read: 55 funny quotes about love and all its complications] 6. Next, the psychiatrist treated the optimist. ._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa{margin-top:8px}._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa ._3EpRuHW1VpLFcj-lugsvP_{color:inherit}._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa svg._31U86fGhtxsxdGmOUf3KOM{color:inherit;fill:inherit;padding-right:8px}._3Z6MIaeww5ZxzFqWHAEUxa ._2mk9m3mkUAeEGtGQLNCVsJ{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;color:inherit} God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. Robin Williams, 5. If Im a sarcastic asshole when I talk to you, its either because I really like you and feel comfortable teasing you, or I really hate you and dont care if you know it. More jokes: 31 Best Man speech jokes that will work for any wedding 28 Star Wars jokes that will make you laugh . He said Thanks! I said Dont mention it., I was playing chess with my friend and he said, Lets make this interesting. Ever wondered how why did the chicken cross the road became a thing? Check out these up-and-coming Canadian comediansand their best jokes! Those are the umlauts.Submitted by David Wong, While going through his deceased fathers things, a man found a 25-year-old claim stub for a shoe repair. Funny Husband Wife Joke Gift - 11 OZ Coffee Mug. Weinstein, Last night I was walking home and took a shortcut through the cemetery. Uncle G: How much does it cost to stay in it? I was in the emergency room when a young male nurse came in to ask routine medical questions. Get Your Laugh on with these funny redneck sayings: He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. My New Years resolution is to get in shape. Dont miss this collection of the best knock knock jokes for kids. Being broken up with. I used to be addicted to soap, but Im clean now. Explanation: "No joke" has a double meaning here. New Flat-Panel Television Pitch Turn-Signal Vermilion Credit-Card Magnetic-Strip Coal Netflix-Envelope Scarlet Cubicle Ecru Unraked-Leaves Sienna Energy-Efficient Fluorescent-Bulb Quartz Blue-Screen-of-Death CobaltSubmitted by Casey Johnston, One day, when it was raining heavily, my boss asked me to water the plants outside the office. A book just fell on my head. ', The wife smiles, and says 'Thank you, that means a lot.'". Hope that helped raise your smartass quota for the week. There are no fish under the ice! He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. The man stands up, clears his throat, and says 'Plethora.'. 50 of Milton Joness most ingenious jokes and one-liners How do you know? My dog told me.Submitted by Sourabh Bhatia, A man with a huge grin approaches a priest. The shaken turtle replies, I dont know. Why does my brother always attack my knees playfully? She looks great! Last New Years Eve, I finished work and raced to catch the bus, but by 12:10 it still hadnt come, so I figured Id likely missed it. In reference to someone's accuracy with a gun. Sometimes life leads you astray with no one to turn to. You can use these yo mama jokes as good comebacks in an argument. ._3bX7W3J0lU78fp7cayvNxx{max-width:208px;text-align:center} 52. The bug grabbed Norm by the collar, punched him in the eye, threw him across the living room and then ran off. Submitted by Joyce Tenhage, A friend who had just turned 50, and couldnt quite deal with that fact, was wearing a T-shirt that said, Im not 50! His instructions were to walk around town using a code phrase until he met his fellow agent. ' Misir Doobay, Toronto, I dont need it, but Ill tell you who does Jen Statsky, writer. 75 of Billy Connollys best jokes, one-liners and quips Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Im following the one who called me miss. The Hello, maam one should take note. @anniemumary. A: Copies. That is wrong on so many different levels. Tim Vine, A cement mixer collided with a prison van. Two weeks after I had photos taken of my baby, I returned to the studio to view the pictures on a colour monitor. No more Mr Rice Guy. Tim Vine, My mother made us eat all sorts of vitamins and supplements. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? Everyone can relate to these funny tweets about technology. Hes done it again!, When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85. Submitted by Dan Upham, I have always been a disappointment. You could read it as "seriously" or as "a joke didn't walk into the . ', Dad replies, 'We are your real parents, son. The boy screams. Don't be the person to initiate that. He doesnt look at all dangerous to me. No, she said. Mom: Where buy chicken Daughter: Mom, this isnt Google. One in 1. Yes, I said, but I really dont need it., Without missing a beat, she replied, We dont sell things that people need. Joe Caputo. The next day, Norm went to see his doctor to have his bruised eye examined. Hes peeing in the refrigerator again!, For his birthday, an old mans nephews secretly hire a call girl for him. The wife smiles, and says 'Thank you, that means a lot.'". I turned to a man who had been waiting alongside me the whole time and said, Sir, how long have you been waiting?, He looked at his watch and said, Since last year. Misir Doobay, Toronto. ._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4{width:100%}._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4:hover ._31L3r0EWsU0weoMZvEJcUA{display:none}._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4 ._31L3r0EWsU0weoMZvEJcUA,._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4:hover ._11Zy7Yp4S1ZArNqhUQ0jZW{display:block}._1LHxa-yaHJwrPK8kuyv_Y4 ._11Zy7Yp4S1ZArNqhUQ0jZW{display:none} Two men are adrift in a lifeboat for days. Tomorrow doesnt look good either., 37. The son comes home in the afternoon. Shave my head.Submitted by Abdulmajeed Mamudu, Two criminals are taking a walk deep in the woods one dark night. If youre looking for a sassier way to go through life, these smartass quotes with advice are sure to help. Well, said her husband to the shaken pastor when all the commotion ending, shes there.Submitted by Norm Schmitz, One friend complains to another, All my husband and I do any more is fight. Check out the most Canadian headlines of all time. 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Theyre full of small bells.. You cant make somebody love you. Today I saw something that reminded me of you. When the server showed up to take our order, she asked, Where do you get your mussels? The young waitress blushed, looked sheepishly at her biceps and quietly answered, Cross-training?Submitted by Dan Grabke, Q: Whats Edith Piafs favourite airline? You wont believe these hilarious job ads actually ran! One was a pessimist and the other a total optimist. But the left arm is a lot longer than the right arm, he complained. "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Except at a funeral.Demetri Martin, A guy walks into a dentists office and says, I think Im a moth., The dentist replies, You shouldnt be here. A: A steeping bag. "I'm not sure; I was born with them.". ", "Because if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat. ' Tim Vine, Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. Startled, the driver went through a red light and almost hit a bus before he pulled over. Keep your voice steady, avoid sounding too pleased with yourself, and deliver the line with a straight face. That's why it's helpful to have a good one-liner in your back pocket. He looked at all the rings on my fingers, then exclaimed, You must have had a lot of husbands! Submitted by Esther Dawson, Me: I brought some books for us to read. She glares at the other little boy and asks, What do you want for breakfast? 10 Likes, 0 Comments - (@zdragonqueen) on Instagram: "' . Oops.Submitted by Robert Rea, Steve, a lonely bachelor, wants some company, so he buys a centipede and a small box for it to live in. Submitted by Greg Madden. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. You're the reason God created the middle finger. Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one. Check out the funniest comedies on Netflix Canada right now. Theres just one condition. The satisfactory. This particular genie, however, states that she can deliver only one wish, not the standard three. Im just mean and people think Im joking., 35. Good players are hard to find. The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, walks past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. One day I had to call someone about a late book entitled Dont Forget: Easy Exercises for a Better Memory. He needed a little space. Shes been here six months. Dont you want to play with any of the toys?, Yes, the little boy bawled, but if I did Id only break them.. I want to achieve it by not dying. Woody Allen, The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard for long hours. (Consider yourself warned! What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? A bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a whiskey and cola.". Just then, a saleswoman appeared. It can be a potent form of flirtation and seduction. You couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery, He couldn't get his hole in a barrel of fannies._3K2ydhts9_ES4s9UpcXqBi{display:block;padding:0 16px;width:100%} But the right leg is way too short, argued the customer. Curious, he went to the store and handed the ticket to the owner, who headed to the back of the store before reappearing. Now hes the village blacksmith. You know, youre a real jerk when youre drunk, Superman., Every 10 years, the monks in the monastery are allowed to break their vow of silence to speak two words. A Canadian park ranger is giving some ramblers a warning about bears, Brown bears are usually harmless. All you need to do is take seven lemons, squeeze the juice into a glass and drink the juice. Will that cleanse my sin from me? No, but itll wipe that stupid smile off your face.Submitted by Edward F. Castellanos, You wont be able to un-see these funny stock photos. And how are the American students, Donald? she asked. ", "How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? ._3oeM4kc-2-4z-A0RTQLg0I{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between} And theres no better place to be than on your partners team! When the police show up, they ask him what happened. How do you think I feel? asks his companion. How far do you think I can kick this bucket. Hours go by and nobody sees the head monk. Submitted by Paul Lewis, I think my goldfish has seizures, a man tells the veterinarian. In the piano! Whats your last wish? Well, Ive always wanted to donate a kidney.Submitted by Robert L. Jaffee, Growing up with a curious younger brother and a sharp-eared dad led to some memorable conversations as a teenager. Lets explore the role of humor in an intimate relationship. When I was five years old, I looked down at the crayons I was colouring with and sighed: When I was two, this was not what I saw myself doing at five. Next time you're at a loss for words, try out one of these one-liners andwatch your popularity soar!*. There, the nurse dressed his wound and gave him instructions on how to care for it. 50 of the funniest Friends quotes and jokes. Submitted by Max Cooper, The doctor replies, Sorry, I dont follow youSubmitted by Christine Schrum, After a husband and wife have a heated argument, the wife calls her mother. The floors are so shiny you can see your antennae in them. Women are like iPhones. Sorry, Im not Adele. In fact, my name is Murphy., Aha, thought the agent, heres my man. So he whispered the secret code: The sun is shining the grass is growing the cows are ready for milking., Oh, said the farmer, youre looking for Murphy the spy. Why did the chicken go to the sance? This was because he wanted to make sure that their knee-caps were alright! Try these funny birthday jokes! Back on the phone, the guy says, OK, now what?, A turtle is crossing the road when hes mugged by two snails. I found them. We have the best football jokes kids would love. A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the highway. We dont serve your type! shouts the barman. [Read: 19 life quotes to motivate you to live a better life], 23. Whenever we'd start talking and she didn't want to hear it she would sing, "Oh the monkey wrapped his tail around the flag pole, to wipe his butt hole, and see the world!!". I was involved in very organised crime. Milton Jones, I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim Reaper dicing with death. Tim Vine. The only reason Im fat is because a tiny body couldnt store all this personality.[Read: How to be funny and make people love your company], 29. Everyone loves a smartass, whether they want to admit it or not. I told my friend 10 jokes to get him to laugh. When he answered the door, he found a six-foot-tall cockroach standing in front of him. Find out the 10 things you should never say to a Canadian. Snake 2: I dont know. The odds that I got mugged twice last year because I look like the kind of guy that would calculate those odds? I once had a teacher with a lazy eye. Conjunctivitis.com thats a site for sore eyes. Tim Vine. In his late 80s, my father-in-law went to renew his drivers license. ._2FKpII1jz0h6xCAw1kQAvS{background-color:#fff;box-shadow:0 0 0 1px rgba(0,0,0,.1),0 2px 3px 0 rgba(0,0,0,.2);transition:left .15s linear;border-radius:57%;width:57%}._2FKpII1jz0h6xCAw1kQAvS:after{content:"";padding-top:100%;display:block}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:start;justify-content:flex-start;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-navIconFaded10);border:2px solid transparent;border-radius:100px;cursor:pointer;position:relative;width:35px;transition:border-color .15s linear,background-color .15s linear}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._3kUvbpMbR21zJBboDdBH7D{background-color:var(--newRedditTheme-navIconFaded10)}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._3kUvbpMbR21zJBboDdBH7D._1L5kUnhRYhUJ4TkMbOTKkI{background-color:var(--newRedditTheme-active)}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._3kUvbpMbR21zJBboDdBH7D._1L5kUnhRYhUJ4TkMbOTKkI._3clF3xRMqSWmoBQpXv8U5z{background-color:var(--newRedditTheme-buttonAlpha10)}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._1asGWL2_XadHoBuUlNArOq{border-width:2.25px;height:24px;width:37.5px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._1asGWL2_XadHoBuUlNArOq ._2FKpII1jz0h6xCAw1kQAvS{height:19.5px;width:19.5px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._1hku5xiXsbqzLmszstPyR3{border-width:3px;height:32px;width:50px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._1hku5xiXsbqzLmszstPyR3 ._2FKpII1jz0h6xCAw1kQAvS{height:26px;width:26px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._10hZCcuqkss2sf5UbBMCSD{border-width:3.75px;height:40px;width:62.5px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._10hZCcuqkss2sf5UbBMCSD ._2FKpII1jz0h6xCAw1kQAvS{height:32.5px;width:32.5px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._1fCdbQCDv6tiX242k80-LO{border-width:4.5px;height:48px;width:75px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._1fCdbQCDv6tiX242k80-LO ._2FKpII1jz0h6xCAw1kQAvS{height:39px;width:39px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._2Jp5Pv4tgpAsTcnUzTsXgO{border-width:5.25px;height:56px;width:87.5px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._2Jp5Pv4tgpAsTcnUzTsXgO ._2FKpII1jz0h6xCAw1kQAvS{height:45.5px;width:45.5px}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._1L5kUnhRYhUJ4TkMbOTKkI{-ms-flex-pack:end;justify-content:flex-end;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-active)}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._3clF3xRMqSWmoBQpXv8U5z{cursor:default}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._3clF3xRMqSWmoBQpXv8U5z ._2FKpII1jz0h6xCAw1kQAvS{box-shadow:none}._2e2g485kpErHhJQUiyvvC2._1L5kUnhRYhUJ4TkMbOTKkI._3clF3xRMqSWmoBQpXv8U5z{background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-buttonAlpha10)} Submitted by Craig Sharf, The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize youre not in shape for it, its too far to walk back. It doesnt have to be Pi Day (March 14) to bring out thesefunny math jokes! ._1QwShihKKlyRXyQSlqYaWW{height:16px;width:16px;vertical-align:bottom}._2X6EB3ZhEeXCh1eIVA64XM{margin-left:3px}._1jNPl3YUk6zbpLWdjaJT1r{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;border-radius:2px;display:inline-block;margin-right:5px;overflow:hidden;text-overflow:ellipsis;vertical-align:text-bottom;white-space:pre;word-break:normal;padding:0 4px}._1jNPl3YUk6zbpLWdjaJT1r._39BEcWjOlYi1QGcJil6-yl{padding:0}._2hSecp_zkPm_s5ddV2htoj{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;border-radius:2px;display:inline-block;margin-right:5px;overflow:hidden;text-overflow:ellipsis;vertical-align:text-bottom;white-space:pre;word-break:normal;margin-left:0;padding:0 4px}._2hSecp_zkPm_s5ddV2htoj._39BEcWjOlYi1QGcJil6-yl{padding:0}._1wzhGvvafQFOWAyA157okr{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;border-radius:2px;margin-right:5px;overflow:hidden;text-overflow:ellipsis;vertical-align:text-bottom;white-space:pre;word-break:normal;box-sizing:border-box;line-height:14px;padding:0 4px}._3BPVpMSn5b1vb1yTQuqCRH,._1wzhGvvafQFOWAyA157okr{display:inline-block;height:16px}._3BPVpMSn5b1vb1yTQuqCRH{background-color:var(--newRedditTheme-body);border-radius:50%;margin-left:5px;text-align:center;width:16px}._2cvySYWkqJfynvXFOpNc5L{height:10px;width:10px}.aJrgrewN9C8x1Fusdx4hh{padding:2px 8px}._1wj6zoMi6hRP5YhJ8nXWXE{font-size:14px;padding:7px 12px}._2VqfzH0dZ9dIl3XWNxs42y{border-radius:20px}._2VqfzH0dZ9dIl3XWNxs42y:hover{opacity:.85}._2VqfzH0dZ9dIl3XWNxs42y:active{transform:scale(.95)}

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